Christmas is the time of year to celebrate with the amazing group of lovable friends we sometimes call coworkers. I’ve been to my share of office Xmas parties, each lame in their own special way. The only thing that makes these parties remotely bearable is the open bar.
Open bar, dude
Not only can you get hammered to the point where you can’t understand everyone’s incessant rambling, you also get the added benefit of observing your coworkers at their finest.
Here are a few of my favorite office party moments:
The nip slip
We’re not talking booby popping out for a second, I’m talking flat on your back, passed out, tit fully hanging out for everyone and their dog to see. Believe me, it has happened. And for the cruel opportunist out there, a perfect cell phone pic to send out on Monday.
Old people dancing to today’s hottest jams
Such as “Gettin Jiggy With It” and “Monster Mash.” I can watch that shit all day. In fact, that’s my primary source of entertainment next to carefully scanning the room for nip slips. Until said old people decide to drag you to the dance floor (and they always do).
The creepy perv
The guy who desperately hits on every female there without a date. Just like “that guy” in the clubs – the one who never ever gets laid but, by god, gets the club gear out every weekend ready for some action.
Does that sound about right?