Security Sucks

Security Sucks

I work for a security company. Security sucks, and one scale of respectable jobs/people in life, for some reason security guards catch hell like crazy. Made fun of in video games, daily life, and in movies.. Like we’re a lower life form, trying to stop YOU from having all that crazy unbeatable fun you were gonna have, had we just let cha’! Dumb asses. First off, some security guards ARE stupid and ARE the type who are the “I wish I was a cop” type or tried to be before, but failed entry! I am NOT such a person. Law enforcement is great, I might have even wanted to be one at one time in my life (who didn’t?!) but I am not, and I don’t wear this uniform like Cop jr. I have a family at home, I dnt walk around knowing all the local police 10 codes and frequencies or carry a scanner in my car…I DO own a “duty belt” which is part of required dress (and NOT a fashion statement) and I do have a few things which go on said belt, but mainly its for my cell phone and to HOLD UP MY PANTS! Jerk-wads. Use your fucking brains, idiots. I am the guard who is extra quiet, and calm, and reserved, yet does his job when required, and is fully capable of fucking you up with restraints and holds I am LEGALLY allowed to use on you should you forget to “stay in your lane” like a good civil person. I also have a 950,000 volt stun gun which is capable of not only helpful “encouragement” to help you do the right thing, verily, but I will use it on your over anxious ass if you, yet again, forget where your boundaires are. I can arrest you (with the same citizens arrest power that u technically have) but unlike you, I carry handcuffs which I will not nearly* hesitate to slap on your ass EXTRA fucking tight should need to some coaxing to do the “right thing”. My job sucks yes its true, but what the average asshole who dicks around and tangles with me fails to see is the law is 99.9% on my side, (not yours! Shocked right?!) and I will not only fuck you up if you don’t listen, but you’ll leave my vicinity maimed and restrained, with a cell waiting for you and a court date. Fucking with security guards is the wrong idea, so should you ever get the urge to get beside yourself, on my post, and feel the need 2 practice your UFC/MMA bullshit *in my dojo*, or whatever else bullshit reasoning you have..do so walking on egg shells..and woe betide you my friend, because my fucking job SUCKS but I can make your existence suck. And I WILL. My job grants me the right and has conditioned me juuuuust right(through asshole bosses and the over-all asshole public) to where I’ve worked long enough with/for and around enough jerks to make your life a living hell.

Discover more from Work Sucks

Subscribe now to keep reading and get access to the full archive.

Continue reading